BY R.A. VERHEY
There was a flash of light, there was a burst of colors, and then all dispersed into silver night.
I know not how I came here, nor how I will ever leave, for both seem to be equally impossible. The first because I cannot remember either life nor death, and though it feel an eternity has passed through me, I have not seen any one thing, excepting to the occasional flicker of joy passing by. The second, because there is not, nor shall there ever be, a place that is like this. The likeness is according to words I have not learned, and the feeling can only be fathomed to the depths of an ocean rising to meet the sky.
In this state of unawares, I have rested. I watched as the first light spread slowly and then all at once over the surface of a water filled world. I trembled under the voice of One who held me in my creation, as He spoke life into a world without hope. I drifted through time before it was made attached to a world, when it was like a young pup still learning from its Maker how to be.
No time has passed.
Peace rains like stars around me,
And I fall through shadows of greatness like one who is too blessed to contain.
My blessing is warm on my face, tingling in my veins, rushing like wind through my being in the Nature of Goodness. The smile of my Lover. The smile of my Friend.
“The truth is what you are Created of,” the voice was clear, and I suddenly found myself sitting in deep grasses, legs crossed and hands neatly resting on my knees. “Dust was in my hand, and my breathe was love, making you the very image of My love. It runs through your veins, my friend. It is what you are made up of.”
I blinked, and looked around. The sky was pearl, and the mountains were pale blue with snowcaps. The whole intensity of the landscape was the first thing to capture my attention. Everything around me was clarity itself. Beside my body, a narrow creak rushed merrily along, running blue like the mountains it came from.
This taken in, I took in the speaker. He was sitting, the same way as I, with legs crossed and hands placed on his knees. Deep brown hair fell from his head to just above his shoulders, which were strong and broad. Around him he wore a simple tunic, which was purely white and made of a soft woven material.
He looked familiar.
I blinked.
He smiled.
“What happened?” I asked.
“You looked into my eyes,” he grinned.
I stared at him blankly. “I don’t think that I understand- I was gone, away from here, for a long…-,” I trailed off, and his smile softened.
“No time has passed…you stood in Eternity.” he shifted his hands. “My Father took you into Him, to minister to you.”
I nodded. “I see, I suppose. I can’t remember anything before it… what were we speaking of?”
“We were not here before, and you can remember what we were speaking of, you just told me,” he pursued.
I opened my mouth to protest, then shut it with a jolt. Of course, I mused to myself. We were just speaking together in Eternity. It was then restored to my mind- the stars, and the ocean, the lamb and the tiger that engulfed me in its magnificence. I had travelled, apparently, from place to place in Him, for what reason, I did not know.
“What are we doing here?” I asked. He had gotten me down to my raw colors, and now I was sure He had purpose and tasks for me to finish. Determination rose in my heart, and I was ready to do what was needed, though within me I felt my soul to be raw.
He stood, and walked to the creek, looking up its moving body to the mountains. “We are here to rest.”
I knitted my brow. Rest seemed unnecessary. Had he not just corrected my soul, was I not healthy to do his work? It seemed repetitive, unneeded, completely absurd to use these precious drops of hope, and simply let them run for not.
He laughed. “My son, you have forgotten that it is not to work off the blessing, but to enjoy it that I give it to you.” He turned to me, and his eyes were kind. “I love you. Let me bless you.”
I stumbled on my words, still stuck in my mind to my own ideas, though my heart was tugging on the bit to dive into his love. “I,” my voice stumbled. “What of works, what of glorifying your name? Saving the lost, healing the sick, having faith?”
He knelt down and looked me in the eyes, and I felt a sob arise in me at the sight of his eyes- so kind, and so beyond my fathoming of what love could be. His hand was guiding on my shoulder, and his touch seemed to being hope to my physical body, as if the creation was meeting the creator, and singing with joy for the knowledge that it is good in his eyes.
“The blessing I give is to bring you closer to my heart,” he whispered softly. “I bless you to call you into wide open spaces, to draw you into my dance. Rest in it, my son. Enjoy it. It is for you, it is for us.”
I leaned forward and buried my face into his chest. All I wanted was to be near him. No tears were at my eyes, and no words were on my lips. He pulled me up, and embraced me strongly.
“You are called into my heart, from birth you have been destined to be here. In my heart, you always have home, always are covered in safety, always are found in love. When blessing comes, walk in my heart, walk with my heart. Blessings will come in waves, and their purpose is to bring you into a walk with me, your friend, your creator, your lover. You will walk by my side, and we will speak of truth and love, walking together in peace and in joy.”
I did not want to leave his embrace, but something in my heart was calling me on, hinting at something more, like a secret that is desperate to be told. I withdrew, and he once more rested a hand on my shoulder, eyes smiling.
“Shall we walk?” he asked.
I smiled, a smile that only he could have placed, as it seemed to change the very make up of my being, causing health to become prominent. “Yes, I would like that.”
He nodded. “Come, we will arise to the ocean.”
Simultaneously, we turned with our backs to the mountains, and our faces to a distant horizon that was flooded with the setting colors of orange and pink. The creak flowed with crystal beauty beside us, and we walked, shoulder to shoulder, heart to heart, in peace.
“My truth,” he said after a while. “It is beauty. My beauty, it is truth. Whatever you find that is these things, it is good. If it is good, then know that I am in it. If a feeling arises in you that denies this truth, deny it a place to stand. All that resonated with truth and beauty, hold it closely. Know this, my rest is always open to my children. You are my child, and I love you. There is nothing you can do, or not do, to change that, for you have already entered into my rest, my forgiveness covers you completely.
“If you doubt, you will be made sure. If you have fought, you will be healed. Whatever lies there are will be dispelled, and you will be restored to the goodness of your Father who loves you.
“All this to say, my child, you do not carry the fate of the world on your shoulders. There is no quota of people you have to bring to my heart- I bring them to my heart, and I bring you to my heart. All is personal, all is entwined. Pursue me, and those around you will follow, for my love will radiate off of you. Walk with me, and those around you will see my presence, and seek it out. You cannot save, but I can save through you. All you must do, is walk with me.”
Beyond us, the horizon dipped, and a constant rush began to fill my ears. The ground passed beneath our feet, and finally my eyes met with the far country of blue, spreading out farther than I could understand. Looking over, I found that he had moved from being physically there, to being hidden in the ocean as it washed upon the shores.
The waves became a soft music within me, speaking life, speaking truth. Coming to the shore, I lowered myself to the sand, my toes just almost reaching the water as it moved up and down the shore. Slowly the waves began to beat into my heart with a rhythm likened to a voice, though the voice was within.
“Here I am, with you, and here I always will be. With you. You are my creation, you are my child, and I will walk with you all the days of your life.”
The sound of the waves washed over my heart, and a peace descended thickly about me.
“I will wash you clean.”
There was a flash of light, there was a burst of colors, and then all dispersed into silver night.
I know not how I came here, nor how I will ever leave, for both seem to be equally impossible. The first because I cannot remember either life nor death, and though it feel an eternity has passed through me, I have not seen any one thing, excepting to the occasional flicker of joy passing by. The second, because there is not, nor shall there ever be, a place that is like this. The likeness is according to words I have not learned, and the feeling can only be fathomed to the depths of an ocean rising to meet the sky.
In this state of unawares, I have rested. I watched as the first light spread slowly and then all at once over the surface of a water filled world. I trembled under the voice of One who held me in my creation, as He spoke life into a world without hope. I drifted through time before it was made attached to a world, when it was like a young pup still learning from its Maker how to be.
No time has passed.
Peace rains like stars around me,
And I fall through shadows of greatness like one who is too blessed to contain.
My blessing is warm on my face, tingling in my veins, rushing like wind through my being in the Nature of Goodness. The smile of my Lover. The smile of my Friend.
“The truth is what you are Created of,” the voice was clear, and I suddenly found myself sitting in deep grasses, legs crossed and hands neatly resting on my knees. “Dust was in my hand, and my breathe was love, making you the very image of My love. It runs through your veins, my friend. It is what you are made up of.”
I blinked, and looked around. The sky was pearl, and the mountains were pale blue with snowcaps. The whole intensity of the landscape was the first thing to capture my attention. Everything around me was clarity itself. Beside my body, a narrow creak rushed merrily along, running blue like the mountains it came from.
This taken in, I took in the speaker. He was sitting, the same way as I, with legs crossed and hands placed on his knees. Deep brown hair fell from his head to just above his shoulders, which were strong and broad. Around him he wore a simple tunic, which was purely white and made of a soft woven material.
He looked familiar.
I blinked.
He smiled.
“What happened?” I asked.
“You looked into my eyes,” he grinned.
I stared at him blankly. “I don’t think that I understand- I was gone, away from here, for a long…-,” I trailed off, and his smile softened.
“No time has passed…you stood in Eternity.” he shifted his hands. “My Father took you into Him, to minister to you.”
I nodded. “I see, I suppose. I can’t remember anything before it… what were we speaking of?”
“We were not here before, and you can remember what we were speaking of, you just told me,” he pursued.
I opened my mouth to protest, then shut it with a jolt. Of course, I mused to myself. We were just speaking together in Eternity. It was then restored to my mind- the stars, and the ocean, the lamb and the tiger that engulfed me in its magnificence. I had travelled, apparently, from place to place in Him, for what reason, I did not know.
“What are we doing here?” I asked. He had gotten me down to my raw colors, and now I was sure He had purpose and tasks for me to finish. Determination rose in my heart, and I was ready to do what was needed, though within me I felt my soul to be raw.
He stood, and walked to the creek, looking up its moving body to the mountains. “We are here to rest.”
I knitted my brow. Rest seemed unnecessary. Had he not just corrected my soul, was I not healthy to do his work? It seemed repetitive, unneeded, completely absurd to use these precious drops of hope, and simply let them run for not.
He laughed. “My son, you have forgotten that it is not to work off the blessing, but to enjoy it that I give it to you.” He turned to me, and his eyes were kind. “I love you. Let me bless you.”
I stumbled on my words, still stuck in my mind to my own ideas, though my heart was tugging on the bit to dive into his love. “I,” my voice stumbled. “What of works, what of glorifying your name? Saving the lost, healing the sick, having faith?”
He knelt down and looked me in the eyes, and I felt a sob arise in me at the sight of his eyes- so kind, and so beyond my fathoming of what love could be. His hand was guiding on my shoulder, and his touch seemed to being hope to my physical body, as if the creation was meeting the creator, and singing with joy for the knowledge that it is good in his eyes.
“The blessing I give is to bring you closer to my heart,” he whispered softly. “I bless you to call you into wide open spaces, to draw you into my dance. Rest in it, my son. Enjoy it. It is for you, it is for us.”
I leaned forward and buried my face into his chest. All I wanted was to be near him. No tears were at my eyes, and no words were on my lips. He pulled me up, and embraced me strongly.
“You are called into my heart, from birth you have been destined to be here. In my heart, you always have home, always are covered in safety, always are found in love. When blessing comes, walk in my heart, walk with my heart. Blessings will come in waves, and their purpose is to bring you into a walk with me, your friend, your creator, your lover. You will walk by my side, and we will speak of truth and love, walking together in peace and in joy.”
I did not want to leave his embrace, but something in my heart was calling me on, hinting at something more, like a secret that is desperate to be told. I withdrew, and he once more rested a hand on my shoulder, eyes smiling.
“Shall we walk?” he asked.
I smiled, a smile that only he could have placed, as it seemed to change the very make up of my being, causing health to become prominent. “Yes, I would like that.”
He nodded. “Come, we will arise to the ocean.”
Simultaneously, we turned with our backs to the mountains, and our faces to a distant horizon that was flooded with the setting colors of orange and pink. The creak flowed with crystal beauty beside us, and we walked, shoulder to shoulder, heart to heart, in peace.
“My truth,” he said after a while. “It is beauty. My beauty, it is truth. Whatever you find that is these things, it is good. If it is good, then know that I am in it. If a feeling arises in you that denies this truth, deny it a place to stand. All that resonated with truth and beauty, hold it closely. Know this, my rest is always open to my children. You are my child, and I love you. There is nothing you can do, or not do, to change that, for you have already entered into my rest, my forgiveness covers you completely.
“If you doubt, you will be made sure. If you have fought, you will be healed. Whatever lies there are will be dispelled, and you will be restored to the goodness of your Father who loves you.
“All this to say, my child, you do not carry the fate of the world on your shoulders. There is no quota of people you have to bring to my heart- I bring them to my heart, and I bring you to my heart. All is personal, all is entwined. Pursue me, and those around you will follow, for my love will radiate off of you. Walk with me, and those around you will see my presence, and seek it out. You cannot save, but I can save through you. All you must do, is walk with me.”
Beyond us, the horizon dipped, and a constant rush began to fill my ears. The ground passed beneath our feet, and finally my eyes met with the far country of blue, spreading out farther than I could understand. Looking over, I found that he had moved from being physically there, to being hidden in the ocean as it washed upon the shores.
The waves became a soft music within me, speaking life, speaking truth. Coming to the shore, I lowered myself to the sand, my toes just almost reaching the water as it moved up and down the shore. Slowly the waves began to beat into my heart with a rhythm likened to a voice, though the voice was within.
“Here I am, with you, and here I always will be. With you. You are my creation, you are my child, and I will walk with you all the days of your life.”
The sound of the waves washed over my heart, and a peace descended thickly about me.
“I will wash you clean.”